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frantic_ferret [2010/08/25 10:48] (current)
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|+||====== Frantic Ferret ======|
|+||Frantic was born Frantic Francis Ferdinand Fenton Ferret IV to a family of street performing accountants in the backwoods of the Chicago Loop. After growing up for a few years pretending he was a gerbil with a long tail and trying unsuccessfully to shorten his name legally so his monogram didn't sound like a prelude to a bowel movement, he left his family with a tearful and 12 gauge shotgun-employed ceremony. Afterward, he looked for a place where he could use his light humor and unique physical talents for the good of mankind. After six months as a wind sock at a local airport, Frantic felt he had enough and searched for fame and fortune. He found fame, at least, in a small Orlando home that, despite the unmistakable stench of what was colloquially known as 'The mother of all POOTS!', he was able to fit in due to the incredibly unique growth on his head that resembled a viking helmet (Which actually got him a stint in a local operatic production as the diva, but was summarily let go when it was decided he was neither the fat lady, nor could he sing, thus prolonging the shows forever...) Soon he got a part as 'Foreground Operations Associate' of an Internet Puppet Show (Similar in performance to Microsoft's taped propaganda from Bill Gates) and finally got the fame due him. The fortune is still waiting in a lottery ticket somewhere, but he's patient, as long as he's got cookies.|